Don and I are routinely asked for ideas and suggestions on being a “better” grandparent. The desire to grandparent well-seated deep within the heart. The questions, certainly, spring from love.
These, in fact, are great questions to ask on the grandparenting journey. But I’d like to caution that methods and practice are not the starting point.
As we ponder our role and how we might best execute it, we would do well to look to what is possibly the most concise passage on grandparenting in the Bible.
Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—
Deuteronomy 4:9
Grandparenting Begins with the Heart
Methods and practice are important, but it is our own walk with Christ that is the most important aspect of our grandparenting.
Deuteronomy 4:9 begins with the words, “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently.” Accordingly, then, the first step in our journey actually has very little to do with methods and practice, and everything to do with affections.
The condition of our heart determines every aspect of our life, all our relationships, including grandparenting. This is the starting point, our inner life – our thoughts, our motives, our values, our beliefs (Proverbs 4:23).
If our heart’s desire is that our family members treasure Christ in their heart, then it must be obvious to them that we love Christ with our whole heart. And this takes place in the everyday – in the daily, often mundane, choices of life. This is where our values are communicated to our family. Therefore, we must learn to pay close attention to how we act/respond, how we use our time, and where we spend our money.
This is a good spot for a bit of self-examination. Take a few minutes before reading on and ask yourself:
- Am I keeping my soul diligently?
- What is the current condition of my heart? Or what is the temperature of my love for Jesus?
As you sit in a few moments of self-examination, do the hard work. Be completely honest with yourself. If you find yourself lacking, consider these three ways to keep your soul diligently.
- Keep it full. Our hearts need to be filled daily with the Word of God (Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2-3). Be intentional in setting aside time each day to fill your heart.
- Keep it pure. I remember when our children were young, they used to sing a song in church about input and output. It was something to the effect that what goes in is what comes out. In keeping our souls diligently, we must be mindful of what goes into our heart (Jeremiah 17:9-10).
- Keep it peaceful. Our hearts are to be peaceful places, yet for many this is not the case. Full of worry and fret, fearful feelings and churning emotions, their hearts are a place far from peace. In keeping our souls diligently, we must guard against this dark and anxious place that comes from trying to control things that only God can control and learn to trust Him (Colossians 3:15).
Grandparenting is Driven by a Grand Vision of Our Great God
Continuing our survey of Deuteronomy 4:9, we come to the next portion of the passage, “lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life.”
These words are a warning to every grandparent, a sober reminder that there are men and women of faith who started well yet finished poorly.
It stands to reason that, If the danger is forgetting, then the remedy is remembering.
How do we go about remembering?
We must put things in place to help us be constantly reminded of the glory of God and the supremacy of Christ.
We must fuel our understanding of who God is. First, we can do this by spending time in His Word delighting in His greatness and His goodness. Second, we can also know Him better by asking Him through prayer to help us grow in delight of Him, to set our heart on fire for Him, and to help us treasure Him above everything else.
In a nutshell, to guard against forgetting, we must do everything we can to ensure that our vision of God is great.
Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—
Deuteronomy 4:9
Grandparenting is Centered on Teaching Our Grandchildren to Obey God
Notice the first words of the second sentence in our passage, “Make them known.” We may not have gone to university and received a degree in education, but according to these words, grandparents are teachers.
The method God introduces, right here in this passage, for building lifelong faith is family discipleship. From older generations to younger generations, we are to teach. And our teaching is to be centered on God’s truths.
Our Mission Statement
Before we close the page on Deuteronomy 4:9, there is one more important thing we should note about this grandparenting passage. As a whole, it offers us a mission statement for our role.
Mission statements are all the buzz in recent years. Corporations have them. Churches have them. Individuals have them. If you are not familiar, a mission statement is an official document or written statement that sets out the goals, purpose, and work of an organization or individual.
Well, here in Deuteronomy 4:9, we have it – a grandparent’s mission statement!
Grandparenting begins with the heart, is driven by a grand vision for God, and is centered on teaching grandchildren to obey God.
2 comments
Vivian Freppon
What a wonderful article! Thank you so much for ministering to grandparents. I am the only grandparent to 2 of my grandkids and I do feel the pressure as I am not only their grandmother (Mimi), I am their “nanny”. I live with them now and am under a microscope because they are preteens!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, Don and your family and thank you for your ministry!
Deborah Haddix
Merry Christmas, Vivian!
What a huge blessing to be living with some of the generations of your family and to be not only Mimi but also nanny. While it is a blessing, I know it also comes with much responsibility which at times can be quite weighty. I am praying for you, my friend!