We said it before. It bears repeating now. “We all pass something to the future generations of our family, whether that something is positive or negative.”
Thus far, we have focused our attention on providing our families with a positive heritage. However, I think we would be remiss to leave our conversation without discussing the fact that not all of us were, ourselves, the recipient of a positive heritage.
Positive or Negative
Some were handed a heritage consisting of healthy spiritual, emotional, and social strands. They were given beautiful gowns and robes, so to speak. For them the process of passing a positive, solid heritage is a natural part and projection of who they are. Others received a weak or negative heritage complete with unhealthy spiritual, emotional, and social strands. In essence, they were handed rags. To even fathom a healthy, positive family life is completely beyond them. Passing a solid heritage, a foreign concept.
If you are one who received the rags, may I take a moment to encourage you by saying that it is possible for you to give what you did not receive?
Yes, it can be done. However, it won’t be easy. It will require much from you. First, you will need to determine that you will not remain a victim of your upbringing. But it is possible for you to move forward into a bright future that brings wonderful long-term rewards to you and your future generations.
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children…”
Proverbs 13:22a
Overcoming a Weak or Negative Heritage
At the risk of oversimplifying a challenging process, let me share three essentials for giving something you did not receive.
PRAYER
The first way to overcome a weak or negative heritage is by prayer. I know. I know. It’s the churchy, Christian answer. But please hear me out.
Each of us – grandparents, adult children, grandchildren – is engaged in spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:10-18). None is exempt. But God has given us a weapon for the battle, prayer (Ephesians 6:18). Prayer is vital in the attacks upon our grandchildren and in the attacks upon us as we work to overcome a weak or negative heritage.
There are several reasons prayer is vital to the process of giving what you didn’t get.
Wisdom
This is new territory. There will be times when you have no idea what to do or how to do it. Wisdom is needed, and wisdom comes through prayer (James 1:5).
Strength
Remember, giving what you didn’t get is hard work. It will require an incredible amount of energy. At times, you will want to give up. Strength is needed, and strength comes through prayer (Psalm 46:1).
Release
As you work to provide your family with a heritage you did not receive, you may find yourself facing very real feelings such as defeat, anger, and depression. Likewise, you may find yourself making mistakes and feeling like a failure. Whatever you face, take it to God. Let Him know how you feel. Be honest with Him. He can take it. Let Him calm your fears, wipe your tears, and hold you close. Release is needed, and release comes through prayer (Psalm 34:18).
PLANNING
Don’t wait. Don’t put it off. The well-known adage “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail” applies to the heritage process as much as it does to anything else. Good intentions will not get the job done. Someday never comes. You need a plan. You must create a plan.
Schedule a time – as soon as possible – to build a plan, one that is intentional about passing the healthy spiritual, emotional, and social strands of a positive heritage.
PERSEVERANCE
It is essential you determine that no matter what, you will stay committed to the work of passing a solid, healthy heritage (Hebrews 12:1).
Talk to anyone who has successfully broken the cycle by giving what they didn’t get. Rewards are not immediate. Results often take years to be perceived. This can make it easy to lose heart. Perseverance is the key.
Conclusion
For those who still have lingering questions about the possibility of breaking the cycle, of giving what you did not get, I encourage you to open your Bible to the Old Testament books of Kings and Chronicles. In these books is recorded several times over, the accounts of men who chose not to follow the footsteps of their wayward fathers. Instead, they chose to follow the Lord. They did what was right in His sight. They helped turn their families to Him.
Choose to follow the Lord. Turn from the wayward footsteps of your earthly fathers and do what is right in God’s sight. Pray, plan, and persevere. Put your post in the ground for your family and begin to gift them with a heritage that ties them to their past, gives them security in the present, and offers hope for their future.
