You’ve heard it many times. It’s the topic of sermons and conferences, the encouragement from mentors and friends.
Motherhood is a high and holy calling.
And most days, you live on mission, embracing this calling. To shepherd the hearts of your children toward knowing, loving, and honoring God is your own’s heart’s longing.
Even so, if most of us are honest with ourselves, we will admit that there are some days when our calling doesn’t feel so high and holy. The holy calling, in fact, becomes muffled. The mission, overwhelming.
It’s true. Isn’t it? Especially on those days (or in those seasons) when sickness invades, the dishes and laundry tower, schedules collide, the longing for adult conversation looms, and sleep evades.
During these times that often obscure a mama’s mission and bring with them a loss of joy, what is she to do?
The first thing this mama can do is realize that this is reality. Life isn’t a fairytale filled with nothing but sunshine and happy endings. It’s real life with hard days (and weeks and months and even seasons). Rather than allowing herself to be dragged down by the hard, this mama needs to do the hard. She needs to recognize the reality of what is happening in her life, dig in, and fight. This mama must make a choice – right here, right now. She must CHOOSE joy, and she must keep choosing it.
10 Daily Actions for Choosing Joy
1. Keep God #1
Moms who choose joy are those who establish priorities, always keeping their eyes on God as they do.
True joy—joy that can’t be shaken when the days are gloomy and gray, the laundry piles up, or all the children are sick at once—is only found in God.
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Spend time in God’s Word.
- Pray.
- Meditate on Scripture.
- Ask God to do a “joy” work in your heart.
#2. Do ALL Things unto Christ
Joy-filled moms do not allow themselves to get caught up in what other people think. They don’t spend time thinking about the toys on the floor, the dishes in the sink, or any of the other “mom-stuff.” Instead, they choose to work for an Audience of One and realize the honor of serving Him by serving their family (Colossians 3:23).
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- With intentionality, perform one “mommy” chore today as if unto Christ.
- Pray for each member of your family as you fold their laundry.
- Memorize Colossians 3:23 and recite it when your thoughts need to be redirected.
#3. Live with Eternity in View
Moms who are fighting for joy choose to be intentional with their time. They prayerfully examine their motives and evaluate their activity (1 Corinthians 10:31). When making evaluations, they use questions such as: “Why am I spending time on this?” “Am I doing this for selfish reasons?” “Are my reasons for engaging in this Christ-honoring?” “Is this a frivolous use of time or does it bring glory to God?”
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Learn to ask yourself questions about the activities in your life:
- Does it draw me closer to Christ?
- Is it helping me build meaningful relationships?
- Does it share the love of Christ with others?
#4. Practice Gratitude
Joy-filled mothers make a conscious effort to find things for which they are thankful. They train their minds to look for blessings, and they choose to focus their attention on these things.
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Be on the lookout for gifts from God. Thank Him out loud each time one comes to mind.
- Keep a gratitude journal.
- Share the things you are thankful for with your family members, friends, and on social media.
- Frame a pretty sheet of paper. Using a dry erase marker, write your “thanks” on it each morning.
#5. Choose to be Joyful
As we said before, joy is a choice. Joyful moms choose to be joyful.
It is true that we cannot always control the things that happen to us. However, we can control how we react to them. We can control whether we choose anger or thanksgiving, discontentment or happiness, bitterness or joy.
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Create a “joy” playlist.
- Choose a song from your playlist and turn it up loud.
- Take “grace” breaks. Intentionally stop for a few moments during your day and think on God’s grace to you.
- Memorize “joy” verses and recite them throughout the day.
- Decorate your home with “joy.” Hang Scriptures passages, quotes, and words of “joy” throughout your home.
#6. Refuse to Compare
Comparison is a joy thief!
Moms who are choosing joy do not compare their lives to the lives of other moms. They realize there is no need for such a thing, because they are already seated at the table with Christ.
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Limit your use of social media.
- When you find your thoughts are in “comparison mode,” make a hard STOP. Then immediately turn your focus toward the blessings Christ pours out to you.
- Remind yourself that there is no need for comparison because you are already seated with Christ (Ephesians 2:6).
#7. Take Care of Your Marriage
As much as we’d like to believe the quality of our marriage doesn’t affect our mothering, for most of us at least, that’s just not the case.
When my husband and I are at odds with one another, my attitude reflects the conflict—even if my husband is not at home. Here’s the thing. When our marriage is not strong, our joy suffers.
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Schedule a date night, regularly.
- Even in the middle of all the chaos, find ways to spend at least a few minutes alone together daily.
- Ask yourself what it is that speaks “love” to your husband. Think of one thing and do it.
#8. Take Care of Yourself
Moms who choose joy take care of their bodies. They do this by staying active, eating relatively healthy meals, resting, getting away occasionally to be refreshed, and investing in things that bring them joy. (Of course, there are times when we should make sacrifices for our family, but that doesn’t mean we should always sacrifice, never taking care of ourselves.)
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Let go of your mistakes.
- Set aside 15 minutes to do something you enjoy.
- Go for coffee with a friend.
- Take a nap.
#9. Say “No” So You Can Say “Yes”
Joy-filled moms keep their priorities straight. They learn (sometimes with very great effort) to say “no” to the good, so they can say “yes” to the best.
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Put down your phone. Be present with your child.
- Pray about it before you answer. (Will it bring glory to God? Does it advance His Kingdom? Is God inviting you into this work?)
- Adopt the mantra, “If it’s not a definite ‘Yes,’ it’s a ‘No.’”
#10. Ask for Help
This one is tough. Moms who choose joy learn to make themselves vulnerable by asking for help.
They ask other moms in the same life season to help with a sick child or make an emergency grocery run.
These moms ask older women to invest some time in them by mentoring them in prayer one hour a week or teaching them to cook.
Asking is risky. We worry about perceptions. We fear a “No.” But if we never risk asking, we’ll never reap the benefits or experience the joy of walking this journey with others.
PRACTICAL IDEAS:
- Approach a friend about being your “go-to” if the school calls you with a sick child.
- Get real with those in your intimate circle. Let them know when you need help.
- Take a deep breath (and understand she is as frightened as you are), then go ask that mature Christian woman you admire at church if she will mentor you in prayer (or any other topic on your heart) one hour a week for the next three months.
Sister, it’s time we all dig in and begin the fight, CHOOSING joy today and every day.
A Joy-filled Opportunity
If you (or someone you know) are currently in a season where joy has ebbed and it’s time to stand and fight, you might begin by choosing one of the 10 daily habits above and implementing some of the corresponding practical ideas this week. Or if you prefer entering the fight in the community of others, come join us on our Facebook page during the month of May where we will be running the I Choose Joy 31-day Challenge for Moms. Each morning of the month, an actionable prompt will be posted on our page. Each prompt is specifically targeted to one of the daily actions for choosing joy. It’s a great way to get started in the fight, and we invite you to come join us. The Challenge is simple, doable, and joy-filled.
